Not really sure what it is, but recently my heart has just felt so full. I haven’t found myself this happy in a long time. This post is just going to be a lot of jumbled thoughts all together. Nothing super noteworthy, but just reflecting and writing as things pop into my head. That’s what a blog is for, right?!
However, I will say with all the violence and outcry that has happened in the last week or two, this quote has stuck with me:
Trying to stay positive even though there is all sorts of negativity that surrounding me.
Toward the end of July, I went on a first date for the first time in over a year. It couldn’t have gone better. I remember years ago, probably when I was in high school, my mom told me to make a list of the qualities that I wanted in a significant other and eventual/future husband. That list has been in my head for a really long time. I finally wrote it down, before this date and us talking even happened. I have been pleasantly surprised that he meets every detail on my list that my high school self created. I didn’t think every quality would have been met, but again, good surprise. Faith in humanity has been restored in that sense that it’s not impossible to meet someone that is more suitable for you. And that someone shouldn’t settle for someone, just because they think they won’t find someone else. There are billions of people out there in the world. I like to think that every person that wants to share their life with someone else has someone out in the world that is compatible for them. The rest of it is up to them – what I mean by that is that there has to be effort put in. A relationship is not going to magically happen for you. Do I believe in love at first sight? Probably not – is my gut answer. If I have learned anything about relationships in my 22 years of living, relationships are hard work. Whether that means friendships or any relationship for that matter. And talking to other friends about maintaining relationships, even people my age and older are still figuring out how to communicate with one another and meet the needs of the person whom they share their life with. I’m not the only one figuring things out as I go. But hey, at least I am learning. I feel like I’m 22 years old, but have figured out more than the average 22 year old…maybe that’s just me being cocky. Anyway, for the second date, we went to Silver Falls and went hiking. Originally, we planned on doing a three mile hike, but ended up doing eight since we [intelligently] didn’t look at a map before we left (Oops). I wouldn’t have wanted to get “lost” with anyone else though. I think this was the first time that I didn’t panic the moment I realized that we went the wrong way. I’ve always been afraid of getting lost and not being able to find my way back to where I need to be. I remember of always being terrified of getting lost or losing someone I am with and not being found, not really sure why. It was a really nice day, the park was packed with people hiking. It was nice to be outdoors while it wasn’t too hot. And we just took our time and enjoyed time together. 🙂
This upcoming week is my last week of “summer” since classes start at Linfield very soon! This is going to be the first year that I have not been a student. I won’t be identifying as a college student anymore and it’s finally dawning on me that this is my gap year. For a HOT second, I was looking into Masters programs for Literature, but have decided against that. All the programs are out of state and I don’t know if I’m comfortable leaving Oregon or my family. I’m too much of a homebody and too close with my family to leave them. Even though, I like the idea of adventuring and going somewhere new; the very idea intimidates me. I intend to apply for the Masters of Arts in teaching program, but the application for that isn’t until January 2018. It will be crazy and exhausting to do the ten month program, but I hope I can get through it and get it done. I’m not really sure where I want to student teach or where I’ll end up. I know for sure that I want to stay in Oregon, I don’t really have a desire to live anywhere else. I’ve kind of crossed out the Midwest and South part of the United States to ever live in. I couldn’t live in Arizona – TOO hot! And after that massive, ridiculous heat wave we had, I don’t want to be anywhere near that heat, ever. California is way too big and scary. I could probably do Washington, but eh? I could end up really anywhere. My world seems so wide open to me right now.
The insaneness of this weekend has already begun. I don’t remember a time when Oregon ran out of gas in various places or when cars had to wait 15-30 minutes to fill up their gas tanks. Even better, I don’t remember a cautionary message about running out of groceries at the stores. I ordinarily really like people and don’t mind people visiting Oregon, but in this case…it’s too many people projected to be here at a time. I feel like there’s this joke/irony that all these outsiders are going to come where the zone of totality is going to happen and Oregon being it’s unpredictable, lovely self, it’s going to be cloudy. The forecast is changing though, so it may actually be a cloudless day. Honestly, when the whole eclipse thing came about last year probably – I thought “oh whatever, people aren’t going to come to Oregon just for the eclipse” and now, here we are. I’m going to stay as close to my house as I can. I cannot imagine the amount and influx of people that are on the coast right now. I’ve already seen SO many license plates from outside Oregon. In my head, I’m literally like “go home!” Even today, going to Safeway to pick up a few last minute groceries – there was more traffic than usual for a Friday and after lunchtime. If anyone needs me, I’ll be hanging in my apartment for the next five days until the outsiders LEAVE.
A couple weekends from now, I will be doing a heck of a lot of driving. However, it will be well worth it in the end. Lots and lots of family time heading my way and then going right into a busy season with Linfield getting back in session, as well as my continuing nannying part-time! I’m super excited to start the Linfield job! 🙂 My brother is getting married! I picked up my groomsmaid dress a couple weeks ago and it fits perfectly. It’s the perfect length. I still gotta figure out what to do with my hair, but I’m very happy with how my dress looks! 🙂 Miraculously, I found a house right on the lake for my parents and Gabe and me to stay at. My parents were going to go camping, but due to my stepdads heart surgery, my mom didn’t think towing the trailer and getting all camping gear stuff was worth the hassle. It’s funny, I’ve never gone anywhere or done anything for Labor Day weekend, but this will be the first time that I actually have plans.
It’s been really nice to get a ton of reading in this summer. Since throughout my college career, I wasn’t able to read for enjoyment hardly ever, except for school breaks, it’s been nice to re-read books and read new books with the perspective I have now. In regards to re-reading books, there are books that I read as a middle or high schooler and I remember the plot, but it’s sort of like watching a movie multiple times: you notice something different every time you watch the movie.
In other news: I did that DNA test last month and got results back! Super cool that it’s super accurate. It found that I prefer savory tastes, as opposed to sweet. I can smell asparagus. I do not sneeze when looking at the sunlight. I am likely lactose intolerant. I move about 13 times an hour in my sleep, which is apparently normal! I am highly likely to flush when drinking (this one is VERY true, I light up like a watermelon). I have 262 relatives in the United States. I have actually connected with a few of them, most are third and beyond distant cousins. I’m 99.8% East Asian. I am 47.1% Korean and 34.5% Japanese and nearly 10% of Chinese. A lot of the health tests they run with 23&Me are more tailored to people of European descent, surprise, surprise. Therefore, I didn’t have any DNA variants saying that I am predisposed to any of them! I only recognized three of the diseases anyway. Apparently, I’m a blessed human being! I’ve always been a pretty healthy, low-maintenance person. I’m super impressed with this test, it’s nice to know what type of East Asian I am specifically! 🙂
This summer has been really laid back. The first nanny job I started with at the end of May didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to. [Unfortunately, I still have yet to be paid the half of what he owes me from June]. This is the first summer since I was 16 that I have not had a steady job. It’s been really nice to relax and just hang out with Maizie. Since that first nanny job, everything has pretty much fallen into place with very minor, minor hiccups. I am excited to see what the fall season has in store. Hopefully, not over 100 degree weather, cuz this Oregonian cannot handle it. Sweet summer 2017, I will miss you dearly.
Maizie update! She got spayed two weeks ago as of today. She’s officially over six months old. Maizie is testing boundaries and really loves chewing paper towel and paper bags. As well as fan cords (I said goodbye to not one fan, but two) and as of yesterday, my curling iron died a painful death. She’s very naturally smart. I walk her two miles in the early morning. She hasn’t gained any weight surprisingly for over a month. Hopefully, it’s just a brief plateau and she gains some weight and grows some more. However, I really like the size she is now! Maizie and her friend Frankie play really well together, which surprises me, since he’s double her size now and not even near done growing yet! He’s so fluffy and soft though.
I was right about August flying by. It does not feel like the middle of August and I’m not totally sure I’m ready for full time work to begin! Ready or not, here it comes!